Just So You Know
by DarthBubbles
Summary: A Shepard/Miranda oneshot. Shepard decides that he needs closure during the final battle with the Reaper Larva in case he doesn't make it out alive. After rejecting Miranda initially, he realizes that the mission couldn't govern his feelings.


**A/N: I posted this before, but the spacing was screwed, and it was a lot crappier of a story than it is now. It's still not perfect, but I'm trying. Italicized passages are flashbacks.

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**Just so you know**

Shepard glanced over at Miranda, who had dove behind the same crate he had when the reaper-human larva. Her pistol was gripped so tightly that her knuckles were beginning to turn white. She looked up at him, the look in her eyes one she rarely displayed.

Fear.

The first time he'd seen it was on Illium, when faced with the news that mercenaries had put her sister in grave danger. He'd been able to allay that fear, saving Oriana as well as preventing Miranda from feeling the guilt or murdering Niket. He had convinced her to talk to her sister, and seeing Miranda happy for once had soothed him, as well. That was the day he'd first seen tears in her eyes, though she wiped them away embarrassedly and pretended they were never there. The second time he had witnessed fear in her eyes also came with tears. Uneasy, she had spilled her feelings for him, and begged him not to die on her. And he made the biggest mistake possible. He rejected the love of his life.

_"I don't know what this is," Miranda said, slamming a fist down on the desk before getting up and pacing restlessly. "If this is just a way of relieving stress... I don't know!" She rubbed her temples, sighing in frustration. Shepard knew she wasn't used to the massive confusion she felt now. Her mind had been designed to process and understand the most confusing situations, but what she was feeling was not birthed from data caches or hard facts, it was from feelings. Her feelings toward her genetic modification intruigued him. She was designed to be the perfect woman. She was beautiful, smart, talented. At first, it made sense to him. When he'd first met her, she was nothing but cold determination and business. But as what was behind the shell of perfection was slowly revealed to him, he realized the the person she was was far from perfect. She hated her modifications, she hated her father, but most of all, she seemed to hate herself. She felt like she was nothing but a tool to others, that no one cared. The fact that the perfect person wasn't satisfied with herself made Shepard all the more determined to prove her worth to her. And in his determination, his feelings for her grew beyond 'Commander and Officer.' But he knew that what he wanted would cause trouble._

_"It's more than that," he said. "You know it."_

_"This isn't the time for emotions!" she said angrily, her hands burying themselves in her soft black hair. "We know the chances of survival are slim! We know we're probably not coming back alive!" Another sigh escaped her lips as she sat down on her bed. "What idiotic bunch of hormones decided that now was a great time for love?" she mumbled, more to herself than anything._

_Shepard arched an eyebrow. "Love?"_

_She shook her head, burying her face in her hands. "You weren't supposed to hear that," she groaned._

_He smiled. "I did."_

_"I noticed, thanks," she snapped. "Yeah. I think I love you. From what I know of love, which isn't much."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Well, I never really learned much of it from my father, now did I? But... I don't know, Shepard. I think of you dying, I think of losing you, and I just can't bear it. And there lies the problem. Our mission is practically suicidal."_

_"It will be fine, Miranda. We've upgraded the Normandy to be her best, we'll survive the relay."_

_"We'd better. But as for whatever lies behind... Just... __Don't_ _die, Shepard. You promise me, dammit." The tears welled up in her eyes, only one escaping the corner of her eye to roll down her cheek. Shepard sighed and sat next to her on the bed, wiping it away with his thumb._

_"You know I can't promise that, Miranda. But I can promise that I'll do my best."_

_She rested her head in the crook of his neck. "I can't help it, Shepard. I love you."_

_He closed his eyes, the pain of what he was going to do settling in. "I care about you, Miranda. But the mission is too important. We can't do this. Maybe after this... if we even survive... We can try."_

_She sat up, pulling away from him. "Of course. We can't jeopardize the mission." She stood, heading back to her desk, wiping the tears from her eyes only to have them return again._

_He whirled her around, taking her hands gently. "I'm sorry."_

_She put on a false smile, pulling her hands out of his. "It's fine. Friends?"_

_"Yeah," Shepard said quietly, disappointed with his actions. "Friends."_

Shepard kept telling himself the mission was too important. The Collectors needed to be stopped, and she of all people understood the sacrifices needed to ensure the success of their task. And she did. Her handling of the situation was professional, but he loved her. He knew when she was bluffing. With the larva burning holes in anything unlucky enough to cross it's line of fire, along with the bomb Shepard's team had planted ticking away, the reality of the situation came down hard. He could die. Or worse, he could lose her. Miranda had just given up what had been her entire life since she'd found freedom from her father. She had disobeyed a direct order from the Illusive Man, resigned from Cerberus, given her loyalty completely to Shepard in that moment. It was as good as assuming she felt the same way.

She'd seemed a little anxious during the two hour flight to the Omega 4 Relay. But she'd put on a confident front, for the team, for him, for herself.

_"Two hours 'til we hit the relay, Commander," Joker said over the intercom._

_"Thanks, Joker," Shepard replied. "Call us up five minutes before."_

_He turned away from the galaxy map, smiling when he saw Miranda behind him. "I can't believe it, but we made it this far. I'm behind you one hundred percent, Shepard." She saluted with a grin._

_She'd definately grown from when he'd first met her on the Cerberus station. Her attitude toward everyone, including him, was much more friendly. She cared. He'd given her purpose, that much he knew, though he couldn't return the favor._

_He'd been regretting his decision ever since the conversation ended. But there was nothing he could do about it. The mission was at its climax, he couldn't distract her, nor could he distract himself, right then._

_"Thanks, Miri," he said, using the nickname he'd picked up from Niket. He never said it often, but it seemed to bring happiness to her blue-grey eyes when he did. "Whatever happens down there... I'm glad you were the one to put me back together."_

_She rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh, I just oversaw the project," she said modestly. "The medical crew were the ones to patch you up."_

_"You know, you were the first person I saw after I came back to life. I thought you were an angel." He laughed._

_She chuckled. "Far from it, as I'm sure you realized right off the bat."_

_"Nobody's perfect," he said with a smile. "No matter your genes. But that makes you all the more interesting."_

_Miranda allowed a small smile to show. "Yes, I guess that's true."_

_He stepped down from the observation post of the CIC, closer to her. "We'll make it through this. I know it."_

_"I hope you're right," she murmured, doubt returning to her voice._

_He pulled her closer, embracing her tightly. "I am," he said quietly, wishing that he'd never let go of the opportunity to be more than friends. He felt her breathe deeply, hugging back tightly before breaking the embrace._

_"I believe in you," she whispered, before turning around to retreat to her quarters._

_Shepard ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. She was gone for now, and he was alone. "I love you, Miranda," he said to the empty space where she had stood._

_It was down to business now._

Shepard felt the heat of the larva's attack heat the crate. He launched a missle at its weak spot before pulling back into cover. He was too distracted by the fact that he had never gotten any closure. If they were to have a chance at survival, he had to make amends. With a sigh, he felt determination take over.

Miranda leaned around the crate, hitting the larva with a massive biotic push before pulling back and reloading the pistol. She started to peek out from behind the cover again, lining up her shot, before Shepard pulled her back urgently. "Commander, what are you- mm," her voice was cut off as he desperately put all the passion he felt into a single kiss, one that she returned earnestly. They pulled back, searching each others eyes, one blue-grey pair confused and blissful, the other pair longing and upset. "What was that?" she asked, a smile quirking the corners of her lips.

"We still might not make it out of here. I love you, Miranda. That was just so you would know."

"But you said-"

"I know what I said, and I was stupid. I can't believe I let this damn mission get in the way of what mattered most." The fear was gone from her eyes, then, and she smiled at him, her hand buried in his hair. "I love you too, Shepard," she whispered, bringing their lips together once again. "Just so you know."

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**A/N: I know a lot of people don't like Miranda. And at the beginning of the game, I absolutely hated her. But the person behind the initial first impression is too interesting to pass up, and the fact that the perfect woman doesn't have any self worth makes the romance sort of cute. So there. I'm always a Shepley fan before anything, but I like the Shepard/Miranda romance, once you realize the humanity of both Shepard and Miranda. It's the whole "Don't die" part where she was on the verge of tears that made the whole thing cute. (: okay, I'll shut up. Hope you liked it. R&R. :D**


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